From the minds that brought you “Mean Gays”…a new series that dives into the real “important” stuff gay men tend to focus on. See, Jorge is one of those hip, liberal (mostly) gays…and Mexican (So we call him ME). Scott is a bit conservative (but not always), and jovial…and he grew up a Mormon (So we is called MO). With such opposing perspectives, how do ME and MO agree? They don’t. Not usually…rarely actually. It makes for some interesting conversations though.
With that short intro in mind join ME (the one who is always right!) and MO for a few conversations on some randomly drafted topics, based on their dealings with the gay community in Sacramento, CA. Because the gay community in Seattle or Phoenix could be completely different…who knows?
Online Dating v. Traditional
Damn dating apps are everywhere. You use them. We use them. Everyone probably uses them and that is what we are debating today. Are they being used too much and has that ruined how people meet and date?
ME: The problem with gay dating is it’s not like you can just go to church or somewhere and meet guys.
MO: There are some churches that are gay friendly, where you could possible meet people. Plus, you can find the local spots where gays tend to congregate, outside of bars, like: Ikea, Whole Foods, the gym even, or sushi.
ME: Name one time you met a guy that wasn’t online?
ME: At a gay bar.
MO: So, it was still in real life. Dave. Robert. And there was Jeff…
ME: You’re a whore. Getting to my point, online dating is killing the romance of meeting someone in a gay bar….or at church.
MO: I don’t think I would call gay bars romantic.
ME: That isn’t the point. Even if you are just at a coffee shop or a grocery store, the first thing gay men do now is go on Grindr or Scruff to see if the guy they just saw walking down the vegetable aisle is gay instead of just introducing himself.
MO: You can’t blame them though. The apps have helped gay men avoid the awkwardness and potential danger of hitting on a homophobic straight guy without knowing it.
ME: Well, if they get offended then they are clearly not cool . The homophobic straight should be flattered. I agree they have helped in a way. However, too many times gay men just use the application to hide behind and look without engaging.
MO: I don’t think guys really hide behind it. I mean, it doesn’t make the process more efficient. You don’t have to go through the often disgusting process of avoiding creepers, you know: those guys at the bar that make you shudder at their very touch? With the apps, you are actually more in control of the process of finding a guy.
ME: But when you are using an application, you are picking and choosing based on a few pictures. Straight people still meet through friends and at social functions and it seems like gays are just relying on apps nowadays to find a date. And it’s ruining society.
MO: How is it ruining it society.
ME: It is…everyone turns into a whore.
MO: Whorish behavior aside, apps actually provide a great way to meet guys that you would have never met before. Especially if you are bound by routine and only go to a few places, or you are very shy. I see guys that I would never run into and I even have “Pen Pals” across the state and country because of these wonderful apps.
ME: Uh, pen pal isn’t dating. If you wanted a pen pal send a freaking guy in prison a letter. We are discussing DATING!
MO: Yeah, but you never know. A pen pal can become something more. Plus, the more guys you know, the bigger your pool of potential mates!
ME: Because you’re a whore. You just want more guys on your “list.”
MO: Always the same argument with you.
ME: All I’m saying is that you shouldn’t rely on your phones to have romance. You should actually break your routine and try to meet guys out in the real world.
MO: And I’m just saying that the romance can be found after you meet a guy digitally. Meeting a guy is only just a part of the journey. There will be plenty of times to be “in the real world” having romantic moments. Apps haven’t killed romance. They just made the process more efficient.
ME: But we already rely our phones to get to know people: email, text, Facebook…all these digital outlets. Maybe we should leave romance out of the digital world.
MO: Well, that’s what you think.
ME: I’m right.
MO: *rolls eyes*
What do you think? Join the debate and leave a comment about your view on online versus traditional dating!